~Never to Forget Again~

On a recent visit to the card store I was reading each and every Father's day card to find just the perfect card. I counted making sure I had one for each Dad. First one for my real dad, then my 2 stepdads, one for Hope's dad and her new stepdad. My husband was busy picking out a card too~ I wasn't sure who? His dad had died when he was a teenager. Then he walked over to me with the card he chose...on the outside it read:
"Thanks Dad"
inside it read:
"Because of you I know what it's like to grow up with a great Father. And that's just about the best gift a son ever got. Happy Father's Day."

It was very touching to read what I thought he was getting in remembrance of his dad. I thought how the loss must feel and I was very thankful to have my dad with me still. Then my loving husband said, "I'm going to put it in the offering plate at church." Words scattered in my mind when at that moment I realized it was his heavenly Father he was thanking. I felt honored to be blessed with such a Godly man who truly lives his life mindful of His heavenly Father at all times. After my overwhelmed heart recovered~ it was quickly filled with shame. How could I have never looked at Father's Day from that point of view? I counted everyone and forgot my God!

We all have a Father in heaven who will never forget us. He has promised he will never leave us or forsake us. He tells us "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."(2 Corinthians 6 :18) For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. This Father's day I want to truly grasp who I am and whose I am ~ A child of God. Happy Father's Day to my Abba, Father! Thank you.

There is Hope...share it fearlessly....

Hope and I were invited to speak at a local high school for Disability Awareness this past Tuesday. We entered our last class of the day after lunch. It was a small class made up mostly of boys who looked as if they were sleeping before we walked in. I shared Hope's testimony and then Hope took over and played a couple games with them.

~First Hope started with a race between her and the football athlete. Hope and her wheelchair won.

~Second game Hope played her own version of "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" The class became the live audience as Hope instructed them~ by cheering on their classmates as they answered Hope's questions.

~Then Hope had them participate in a dance off and every student participated. The students danced as Hope sang and they all laughed watching their teacher dance too.

This class was different than any of the other classes. Hope's whole presentation was different.

Hope was now in full swing teacher mode and she gave them an assignment to draw a teddy bear using only their mouth. They were very diligent in their efforts and the challenge gave them the "feel" of how difficult a simple task is when you have a disability.

After Hope built a relationship with them she asked the students to come forward because she wanted to talk to them. They immediately came to the front of the room and circled around her wheelchair. I had no idea what she was planning to say, I have learned to allow Hope to be herself and let God lead her just as He leads me.

Hope began by telling the students she had a very special friend in Jesus and He wanted to be their friend too. She said, "Jesus wants to be your Lord and Savior. He will never leave you. He loves you and has a plan for your life. I want to pray with you right now. Will you pray with me?" They all suprisingly said yes and bowed their heads.

Hope prayed the most heartfelt beautiful prayer over the students and teachers. "Jesus we ask you to come into our hearts and give us a new heart. Take the evil from us and the bad thoughts and give us a clean heart. Forgive us of our sins. Don't let satan get in our way to do what is right. Come in our heart and be our Lord and Savior right now. Amen."

Following the prayer was a huge group hug per Hope's request. I was so proud of my girl for her fearless sharing of what Jesus has done in her own heart. To listen to God's voice and obey is what this life is about. I know there must have been a reason this small class at the end of the day needed prayer. Someone in there needed to know there is hope.

Healing and prayer.....

Very recently I was at a place where time stood still...a place between life and death. Where the knowledge of life as I knew it and felt somewhat in control of was possibly coming to an end. I am not exaggerating as God knows my heart. I was desperately crying out to God for healing of a loved one. God's word is very clear, I am the Lord that heals you. Exodus 15:26 It is who He is and what He does. I prayed knowing this~"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petition that we have asked." 1John 5:14-15 The word of God is the will of God. So I cried out to God everyday. Not wanting to be proud in demanding my way be done, but I cried out to Him for healing of someone I love. God heard my cries and answered my prayer and healed my loved one. I again am thankful and praise Him everyday for healing.

Does God always heal? I don't believe it is always His will. Does He always answer our prayers? I believe He does. And that may sound contradictory, but we do not know the mind of God. His ways are not our ways...it is about the big picture.

After Hope's adoption at 3 months old strangers and friends would come up and tell me they were praying for her healing. She had an obvious scarred scalp from the instrument used in the abortion and her body was stiff and nonconforming. She was severely developmentally delayed, but she had a smile and laugh that brought tears to your eyes. Hope was God's miracle little girl, this is the way I saw her. I often would thank the well meaning encouragers and let them know the great work God had already done by sparing her life. Through the years there were many times I prayed for needs to be met and God was more than faithful. Physical healing Hope has not received and at times I question, "Was it my lack of faith from the beginning?" Then I read in John 9:3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus.(referring to the blind man from birth) "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." John 9:3 Hope glorifies God in her life through the love and joy she freely gives to others. To be content in a body less than perfect speaks volume.


Through trials leaning on Jesus is where the strength comes from. Those times are tremendous blessings, because it is what we were created for~to walk closely with Jesus depending on Him not trusting in ourselves. In healing there is so much thankfulness, Lord, let me not forget what You have done.

What is it that you want Jesus to do for you? Come believing He is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine....to Him be the Glory. Ephesians 3:20-21

What does the Lord want from us? 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-38

God promises... you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:12+13

New Beginnings.......

"God is a God of second chances," Hope said after I took away her phone following her relentless talking back. Hope seems to have a way of bringing God's truth out at the perfect time. Some would call it manipulation, however, I believe she knows where to turn in times of trouble. I explained to Hope, "Yes our God is a God of second chances and we are forgiven for sins when we confess them. Jesus loves us and forgives us and I forgive you too and love you no matter what." Tears began to fall and her lip began to quiver as she questioned, "Really?"

Why is this so hard to believe sometimes? That we can be imperfect and still be loved. That we can make mistakes and God's mercy is new everyday. Maybe because man's love is so conditional. It is rare to find "unconditional love", "mercy and forgiveness". I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”
Galatians 2:20-21

Well, Hope still had her phone taken away and the computer...it was a rough night, but she knows she is loved and forgiven. However, there is always consequences to sin, but God's mercy is never ending.

This year I have been blessed beyond words and there is no other way to express my joy and thankful heart, but to give God the glory for what He has done. I have not made perfect choices along the path, but I serve a God of second chances. In this New Year reach out to the God of second chances He loves you more than anyone and His mercy is never ending. He knows your heart, he knows your struggles and He wants to bring you healing and forgiveness.

Happy New Year! To New Beginnings...remember we serve a God of second chances!

Blessed is the man who trusts in You. . .

The other day while cleaning out a closet I ran across old manuscript copies of "The Kissing Spot". I have many of them scattered throughout the house in different files. Honestly, the material hasn't changed much in the fourteen years I have been working on it, but I have changed. The manuscript represents something more than just a book as I reflect on it now. It represents a life changed. Being a mother for the last 20 years to a special needs daughter has taught me how to trust in God. One of my greatest weaknesses has been thinking "I am in control". Through my own growth I have learned I never was. I have a daughter who is special needs and nothing I have been able to do has changed the fact that she cannot walk. I cannot "fix" her. I have struggled to control MANY things through the last 25 years and over the last 4 years I have truly learned how to LET GO and LET GOD. These words have true meaning now and my actions reflect what has changed in my life. The lie attached to "staying in control" was "it is up to me".

This year is the start of a new beginning for my family. I am remarried to a beautiful Godly man. I have a grateful heart for all that the Lord has done in my life as I have followed Him and loved Him. God has truly blessed me and I am humbled.

I plan to continue on the path to publish "The Kissing Spot" as God leads me. I know who is in control and all along He has been at work. May it not be another 14 years 'til I see this book published, however if it is, I will wait for the Lord! In many ways I believe God has been waiting on me.

Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trust in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy......Psalms 28:8-9

God's blessings on you~
Terri Kellogg

GOD BE GLORIFIED

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

I love to live in the truth of God's word, there is freedom beyond comprehension. Sometimes I am in the fullness of this freedom and obedient, but it is a minute by minute act of discipline to stay there. I am praying constantly as I walk through this life that I may give glory to God and not myself.

Inpatience attempts to come in and steal my peace in knowing God is in control. I bowed my head today with frustration and my "feelings" of inadequacy in this publishing arena. I want someone to take over and tell me what to do. I was gently reminded I don't have to do it on my own...I have my helper a prayer away and I had to again commit my way to the Lord.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope. Psalms 130:5

As I prayed, the Lord showed me again what direction to go with The Kissing Spot ,I felt a peace to move forward with self-publishing when I have the finances. I am convicted to pray for God's provision. Now to him who is able to do immeasureable more than all we ask or imagine...to Him be the Glory!!! Ephesians 3:20-21

Terri

The Kissing Spot...book excerpt

Throughout Hope's early childhood years, she had several frightening febrile seizures (seizures caused by fevers), which were very frightening to me, even as a nurse. Watching as her body stiffened and her eyes stared off is frightening enough. But then her breathing appeared to stop for what seemed like hours. Having no control over the situation magnified my fears to the point of dread that I would lose her. One particular time when she was about five years old and hospitalized following a seizure, I called my mom.

“You need to give Hope to God. Just give her over to Him. You can’t live in fear,” Mom said. “I’m going to pray for God to give you peace.”
As she prayed I let go knowing that God loved her even more than I and He had the ability to protect her, so that I could set worry aside and rest.
The following morning Hope woke and said she’d had a dream. It was the first time she had mentioned dreaming except for nightmares that sometimes woke her up crying.

“I was flying,” she said.

“I’ve had that dream before,” I replied. “And it was great! I loved that dream.”

Hope’s eyes widened. “Did you ride on the angel’s back, too?”

“No. Did you?”

“Yes!” she shouted, her smile stretching from ear to ear, as her body stiffened with excitement.

I was a little apprehensive as I asked, “What did you do, Hope?”

“We went to heaven and saw Jesus.”

Goose bumps covered my arms. Only the night before I wondered how long I would have Hope. My question remained unanswered, and the thought of her going to heaven soon didn’t comfort me at all. But she was excited! That picture of Hope riding on an angel’s back to heaven and into the arms of Jesus was planted in my heart that morning, giving me something to hold on to when that day ever comes.

As much as we might not want to believe it life and death are far out of our control. It’s frightening to realize that life can change in a split second, forever changing life as we know it. And when you have a sick child, tomorrow doesn’t matter; today is all that matters. You can barely look past one second to the next. God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we would wish for, but we can be confident that He is in control and we can trust Him. Thank you, Lord for answers to prayers. Even when I don't understand I will trust in You always.


Book update:
I am still waiting on the right publishing company. A couple encouraging turns along the way, God seems to know just when I need them. These words from a publishing company, "This is an endearing story, well written. Life-affirming, told with gentleness and poignancy.I think this is a story that needs to be shared."

I am comforted by God's word:
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

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